Little steps!

For months, I have been writing blog posts in my head but they never seemed to get written. There are many valid reasons why I never sat down to write them and also some excuses telling myself, tomorrow, I will get back to it, but alas this never happened until now! 

Over the last 12 months in some ways I haven't felt myself, not in a bad way but in a way that that I've been thinking a lot about things, life in general I suppose. And with all of this thinking well, if I'm honest it made me none the wiser and if anything it held me back from things I should've and wanted to do! 

When I think back to when I began my blog which you can read here, I was excited to have my own little space on the world wide web to call my own where I could share my "clucks and downs" with those who wanted to read them. I still love having this space but as already mentioned, I haven't made the time to share but more importantly, I haven't made the time for me! While the blog was to be my own space on the web, I also wanted it to be a place for me to escape from it all for a little while. So, today, today I've decided to do my best to stop overthinking and step by step to move forward. 

It can be so easy to put ourselves on hold and now its time for me to take steps to change that. I have many things in my life that I am grateful for and so many more to look forward to, one of which will start in the coming days. 

On Monday I received news that I was accepted to the Acorns Programme. To say I am delighted is an understatement. It was my third time to apply for the programme and thankfully, "three's a charm" and I was accepted. For me being accepted to the programme is the reboot I needed to move me forward not just for Darcy the Dingo but for myself! 

So today, I am seizing it to be the start of small changes for me and looking forward to the positive outcomes they bring! 

Be confident to Believe!

Since July 2015 I have been on an interesting journey to bring #SecretProject to life. There have been start's, stops, some jump leads needed along the way to get spirits revived and even turns to redirect but it is still a journey with the same goals! The goal is to soon reach our first major destination which is to launch!  

When I had my first meeting at the Local Enterprise Office (LEO) in July 2015, the thoughts of a launch seemed so far away. I remember the day very well and how I felt as I sat and spoke to my mentor Jacqui McNabb. I was so fearful that the idea for the business would be rejected and that I'd be thought of as "another stay at home mum thinking she can set up a business". (The later may seem cruel but unfortunately some people do think this way :-( ) Thankfully, Jacqui saw the potential in the business idea and offered great advice on encouraging me to bring the business to life. While I knew walking out the door I had a lot of work ahead of me to say I was beaming with excitement was an understatement. That first meeting was a big step in giving me a new found confidence and belief that I could and WILL do this! 

As the months progressed there were some bumps along the way both personally and with steps I needed to take to bring the business to life. In January this year I think had my last appointment with Jacqui to receive the go ahead with my application for a grant and also an additional loan. Receiving the green light from Jacqui made me really think was the news I wanted to hear and yet in some ways brought back some fear - Fear that this was really going to happen! I know this may same strange as it is what I wanted and still want but I suppose the when it becomes more real you think a lot more about "what if I fail". Up until now, this was an idea, a dream that was talked about. There were steps I needed to take and things I needed to learn. Now, it is an idea that is coming to life and that can be somewhat scary. 

Not only has the LEO given me great support but so too have many members of groups such as Women's Inspire Network, IrishbizParty, IrishBizGroup and Bite the Biscuit to name a few have given me great advice along my journey to date. While there are many people out there who are ready to offer the "doom & gloom" of their negative experiences or even try to take your idea as there's, there are also many people out there who want to help and support you and watch you succeed. 

Someone who too I must give a very special thanks to is my husband. Bless him, since this journey has begun he's put up with my being the typical Chirp that I am "like the little red hen, I will do it myself". I can be quite stubborn when I want to be and think I can do it all myself ...... I can't! 
I know I'm capable of putting the business plan together and researching who are the best people to help with the various parts of the business but while I've been doing all of this I'd left out my top team member as to what was going on. My husband from the start has been watching me from the sidelines and cheering me on but I wasn't really listening. I'd the attitude of "I'm ok, I can do it" and while yes I can do it, it's a lot easier and more fun to share the journey with the person who's by your side always and wants to see you succeed. I've always been grateful for my husband but all the more I am now to share this journey with him by my side and not watching on from the sidelines! 

This week for me, gave me another boost to myself after I visited my first networking event the Biz Expo. Before leaving the house that morning to attend the event in ways I felt a fraud. On paper I am the Managing Director of a company yet the business of the company is still unknown to others, its just #SecreProject at the moment! 
With this in mind I was afraid of attending the event, afraid as to what others might think when I answered the question "What is you business?" but I'd no need to be fear as I was among like minded people, people who were there to support and encourage each other and it was fantastic. 
Like the first time I left the Local Enterprise Office, I left the BizExpo with a smile on my face! There were people there who knew me as #SecretProject and were trying their best to find out what it was about and intrigued as to what I will soon be launching! I felt confident in myself and was able to walk around talking to others about my business .... but without telling them what it was ;-) I drove home that Tuesday with an added belief in myself that I WILL do this and it WILL be great! 

To date, my journey of bringing the business to life has taken time and there are still some bridges to cross. Luckily for me though, it is not a journey I will do alone as I have some great support to help me along the way. I have a great vision for the business and when I see the likes of Niamh Hogan of Holos win over the Dragon Eleanor McEvoy on RTE's Dragon's Den, I feel even more inspired. I was inspired when I met Niamh last year at the Irish Beauty and Lifestyle event. The beginning of her journey is similar to mine at the moment and while we have a vastly different product, the belief is the same and that is the passion for our business and what we want to achieve. 

Always remember to believe, have passion and have great support. I'm blessed with those I've surrounded myself by within my family and within friendships and connections made. When you believe your dreams may just come true and who, knows maybe I'II slay a Dragon of my own on the Den in the future ;-)

Making time to breathe!

The last few weeks have brought a few changes to our coup and over the last few days I've been reminding myself of two recent posts "Being positive pays off" and "Being Honest to you".  While we've had some "crazy" going on, now that the dust is settling, I feel its time for me to reevaluate me!

http://talkingwithtanis.com/2014/04/18/and-breathe/

While summer may not be as we'd hoped for so far it is time for me to bring the sunshine back but this time for my body. Over the last few months I've let my emotions rule my eating habits and my waistline and body are suffering for it. I know the ideal would be to literally cut out all the bad things as I've done in the past but what I also know is, if I do that within a week I will be back to square one. 
It has to be a lifestyle change at a pace that suits me. I need to get back to the frame of mind I was in June 2014 when my weight loss journey began and add some #BeTheBestYou to enjoy it all the more! I know when I began to make small changes that it made a difference so I think this is the best way for me to go. I need to be clever in how I substitute things and in those things I really don't want to give up, how I can have them without suffering as much for it. 

While exercise too is key, I know for a fact I wont be able to give this the time I'd like to. While on dry days (which seem rare lately) I will be out for walks with the kids I know the evenings will be taken up in the office (aka our spare room!) and having family quality time! I don't believe they are bad excuses to have as they are both very important things. I have however spoken to the lovely Claire of Volta Fitness and got advice on an exercise or two to do that I can get done during the day so it's not all bad! I'm hoping if the weather picks up there will be a lot more running around with the kids so here's hoping! 


One of the most important things I seriously need to look at is the right TLC for me! As some of you know I was looking to find some products to finally get a proper skincare routine in place! I was delighted with myself when I picked up some Nivea the next day which was on special so thought "its meant to be"! Unfortunately while I thought the initial breakouts I was having was from my skin finally getting some love it was in fact a reaction! 

I stopped using all the products and began using Bioderma Micellar Water, Holos Toner and Ziaja Natural Olive anti-wrinkle Cream which I'd received in my fab #IrishBLBInspire goody bag which you can read about here. Hey presto within a few days, I was clearing up! 

Stupid me though got brave! I wanted to pick up a BB Cream as I like to wear less during the summer. All they had in the chemist I was in was Nivea ..... yes, silly me bought it and thought "sure maybe this will be different" After only 2 days, my skin was worse. 
I have to say it is something I'm not used to at all and it has knocked some of my confidence. I know this may sound silly as I've never had perfect skin but the sensation I've had on my face feels like I'm burnt. I've now scaring that I'm hoping I can clear but so afraid to try anything. For now I'm keeping it very basic and using Natural Face masks such as Honey and Cinnamon to help reduce the redness. 

www.pinterest.com

With these "setbacks" the most important thing I've learned I need to do is to relax more and breath! I've a lot of great things ahead of me at the moment and that's where my focus is going to lie! I'm going to keep the positive mind I have moving forward and remembering along the way to take time out every once in a while and breathe! 

Being Honest to You!

Since beginning Chirps From a Little Red Hen, I'm overwhelmed with the support I've received from both you my followers and my fellow bloggers. I have made some great friends and as my blog grows, I'm looking forward to getting to know some more great people.  

Something I'm really enjoying is the honesty I'm reading within other blogs I'm following. When I say this, I don't just mean the honesty within reviews (which I think is very important) but their honesty within their personal life. 

This struck me when I read pieces from blogs such as Mentally Beautiful,
Where's my mind gone? and Volta Fitness. From posts they've shared, they've given an insight to themselves and I admire them for doing that and I'm sure what they shared wasn't easy. 

On reading their pieces it reminded me of something I challenged with in the past. In some ways I had forgotten about it but in a good way and I wanted to share it with you. 

When my mum passed away I was 19 years old (19 and a half to be precise!!). While some will say this is very young, I've learned over time to say "Thankfully I knew her that length of time, some aren't so lucky"

Within days of her passing, I remember being asked "Why are you not crying?" and as the question was asked the expression on the persons face said it all "Shes not crying, what is wrong with her!" I will be honest, in some ways, I wondered the same too "What was wrong with me?"
Grief strikes us all in different ways. Some will cry all the time initially. For other's it is a process that takes time and then there are those that choose not to deal with it and hide it away hoping it wont appear again. 

For me I was in "automatic pilot" mode. My life had been turned upside down the moment I'd heard my mum had passed away. I was no longer the spoiled little girl of the house (my 3 older brothers can vouch for that!!), I was now head of the house! My parents were separated for a number of years so being the youngest, I was the last at home. At the time for me, there was no time to grieve. I had a lot of other things to deal with and that was to grow up, go to college and take care of our family home. 

My brother Barry thankfully moved back home so I wasn't all alone and we took care of each other. He had his own business in Dublin so when ever I was in town, I'd bring him his lunch and made sure he ate. If he was home late, I'd make sure there was a dinner there for him. Together we became quite a team supporting each other through our grief and managing our home. To this day a cuppa and a pack of Foxes biscuits mean a lot to us but that's another story in itself!!  

Telegraph.co.uk

While I was in college, they were a fantastic support to me. After walking out of one of my exams I had to repeat, they gave out to me for not telling them my mum had passed away. They also helped with arranging counselling. Some people when they hear the word "counselling" tend to think "crazy" and at the time, I thought the same too but I also thought why not give it a try. 

I attended two different counsellor's. The first wasn't too great as she she let me shy from facing up to things. Plus location wise for me meant a lot of bus trips and not in great locations.   
Not long after a counsellor began in the college so I thought I'd give him a go! This it turned out was a great decision. While I didn't attend long due to me having to leave collage early for financial reasons, I felt what I got from it helped me in time to learn to grieve. 

http://whatsunderthebonnet.com/counselling/

So what did I get from it?

When I was at the sessions, I noticed the same approach. For every question I was asked I wasn't allowed shy away like I had in the past. Before, when I was asked questions I would refrain from answering the truth. I'd give answers that were "expected"
When I began sessions with the college counsellor, I soon realised my vague answers would not suffice. 
The one question that stood out was "How did I feel when I my mum passed away!" To this I had answered the usual things one would expect to be heard "sad" and "upset". 
The question was asked then again .... it was then I reaslised I'd to learn to deal with my feelings and it was ok to have a variety of emotions. It was ok to not just feel the norm or what is considered the norm. 
We are human and we all grieve differently. We all deal with our emotions differently, the important thing though is that we deal with them. 

Even though I had attended the counselling it still took me some years to grieve and nearly 19 years on I'm still grieving in a way. Something though the sessions taught me was that we can be our own worst enemy. We can lie to ourselves all we want about our feelings and emotions but at the end of the day it is ourselves we are fooling. 

I often ask myself the question "How am I feeling" and this time when I answer I pause and think and I don't answer vaguely. I'm honest to myself. I now know, by being honest to me, I can then deal with whatever comes my way. I know that if I don't cry at something when its "expected" that it too is ok.  

When your going through something that's troubling you, never be afraid to ask for help and never be afraid to be honest to yourself x